To All Pollywogs!!

Tomorrow, I don't know if you know, is the day we are to cross the Equator. It is known in the Navy and in many marine communities as Neptune day. I've heard that in the navy on Neptune day you either can shave your head or bite off the head of a fish. Here on the MS Explorer the hazing is slightly less harsh. Yes, instead of biting off the head, we just have heads and guts of fish POURED on us-if you so choose the option of shaving your head is still available and if you have hair longer than 8 inches you can donate it to locks of love. How sweet.

 

Apparently the rumor is they (the crew, teachers, life-long learners and all) dress up like crazy fish people and bang pots and pans to wake us up at 7. I'm not sure what they do next but then at 9 we have our "initiation ceremony" which takes us as Pollywogs (those of us who have never crossed the equator) to... whatever we get to be after we cross. Ha-ha. Its going to be a long party day. We have no classes and I have absolutely no idea if there are any activities planned other than massive amounts of sunscreen being used. Myself included and approx 90% of the ship will be soaking up the rays of the direct sun. I plan on using 45 every couple of hours. Most likely I'll still get burned I'm thinking. Its the curse of the whities. Luckily most of my good friends are incredibly white too so we're going to start the "I'm really white" club and take over the spots the "Tanning Club" scopes out everyday while they are supposed to be in Global Studies. (We're not really going to do this we're just really good at scheming while we lounge, which we are incredibly good at. Yesterday we sat at a dinner table for the entire time dinner is served: 5:30-7:30. Talent.)

 

So here is the email the entire student body got today:

 

SUBPOENA to all POLLYWOGS,

You are hereby requested to appear before the ROYAL COURT OF THE REALM OF NEPTUNE, in the DISTRICT OF EQUATORIUS, because it has been brought to the attention of HIS HIGHNESS, NEPTUNE REX through his trusty SHELLBACKS, that the good ship M/V EXPLORER is about to cross the equator and enter those waters accompanied by passengers who have not acknowledged the sovereignty of the RULER OF THE DEEP.

THEREFORE be it known to all Slimy Pollywogs that The Royal, King NEPTUNE REX, Supreme Ruler of all citizens of the deep, will, with his Secretary and Royal Court, meet in full session on board the offending ship M.V. EXPLORER on the 9^th day of February, A.D. 2009 at 0900 on Deck 7 aft, to hear your defense.

 

Regards,

-King Neptune and His Royal Court

 

In addition: All pollywogs with hair longer than 8 inches who wish to donate their hair to a worthwhile charity, should do so BEFORE undergoing the initiation ceremony, as only clean hair is able to be donated.

 

If there are any pollywogs who have brought hair clippers on board, your services are hereby solicited by King Neptune and his Royal Barber. You may help by bringing your clippers to DECK 7 aft, tomorrow morning.